Wrestling with God

Epstein Jacob and the angel Tate Gallery

Holy Sonnets: Batter my heart, three-person'd God

Batter my heart, three-person'd God, for you

As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;

That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend

Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.

I, like an usurp'd town to another due,

Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;

Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,

But is captiv'd, and proves weak or untrue.

Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov'd fain,

But am betroth'd unto your enemy;

Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,

Take me to you, imprison me, for I,

Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,

Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Jacob Wrestles With God

22 That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”

“Jacob,” he answered.

28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

Genesis 32 NIV

Last Sunday our vicar, preached on this subject at our Sunday Service at Trinity He used it as an allegory for the way that we enter into the Kingdom of Christ. It is all by Christ's grace for us. God invites into His kingdom but there may be many struggles with Him along the way. It reminds me of a poem by Frances Thompson, rather long but the first verse gives a flavour:

The Hound of Heaven   

I fled Him down the nights and down the days

I fled Him down the arches of the years

I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways

Of my own mind, and in the midst of tears

I hid from him, and under running laughter.

Up vistaed hopes I sped and shot precipitated

Adown titanic glooms of chasmed fears

From those strong feet that followed, followed after

But with unhurrying chase and unperturbed pace,

Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,

They beat, and a Voice beat,

More instant than the feet:

All things betray thee who betrayest me.

The full poem can be found: Here

The only reason that anyone becomes a Christian is that Jesus sets His love upon them, what theologians call irresistible Grace, He then sets His bloodhound, figuratively speaking, the Holy Spirit, onto His beloved until He is captivated by Jesus. Does this mean that people do not have any part in bringing a new disciple to faith? "No way", Jesus uses His friends on earth, each one motivated in their turn by the Holy Spirit to work on an individual. 
Going back to the Golf club analogy in the last blog every time that an individual reacts with a Christian there is a small propulsion towards the Kingdom of God for that individual. It may be a prayer, a kind word, a befriending, a book lent, or an introduction to a church service or, better still an Alpha course. Each one of us is on their own Spiritual journey, which we can share with many people along the way.
In my own Spiritual journey, I had many such helps, I was brought up in a Christian household supported by the prayers of my parents and a very Godly great aunt. I was sent to Sunday school were I heard the bible read, and many of the stories I could commit to memory. However as I studied science at secondary school, I thought that the faith of my parents was simplistic and out of date, yes this was the swinging sixties.  I became convinced that the scientific principle was what would govern my life and I plunged into my medical studies at Barts hospital.
However I was far from happy in my new environment   and soon became very depressed and felt the need for something else in my life. I was very attracted to a group of students who always had coffee together and seemed to always be full of laughter and merriment, I was quickly attracted to them.
They were always very welcoming, and I noticed that they often talked about having a personal relationship with God, something I had not really come across before. I really wanted whatever this group had got, and one day one of them  took me aside and explained that all I had to do was ask Jesus into my life, say sorry for my previous rejection and rebellion and I would be what he described as, "be born again". I said a simple prayer and yes there was a change; my depression and sense of frustration went, and I had  an insatiable desire to read the new testament again. I had found a copy in my flat in a new translation. Suddenly the scriptures which I had learnt as a boy burst into light. Jesus did indeed  have hold of my life. He has never left me even though at times I have drifted away from Him. He is always pursuing and rescuing me just as Jesus told in the story of a Good Shepherd who left 99 sheep in the wilderness to go after and retrieve the one lost sheep.  

     
 

One for mouse, and one for crow, one to rot and one to grow

The little saying in my title was passed on to me by my grandfather and must be very old.
He used to say it while planting bean seeds in his garden. During this lockdown anyone with a garden or even a window box seems to be planting and sowing like mad at the moment. Perhaps it is some collective memory of the, "dig for victory", campaign during the second world war, or an instinct which is deeply ingrained in each one of us.
 The cultivation of plants was a major factor in how we developed as a civilisation. It was the means by which hunter-gathers were able to stay in one place for any length of time, without moving with the source of food. Once agriculture had developed, Towns and cities could develop and with that people could start to do other trades, rather than just spend the majority of the day looking for food.
It was thought until recently that agriculture developed 12,000 years ago, however  a site has been discovered on the shore of the Sea of Galilee where there was evidence of experiments in cultivation nearly 23,000 years ago. It started  in some hunter-gathers who were also fishermen and able to lead a more settled lifestyle. Perhaps a piece of earth had been cleared to store some grasses they had collected and someone observed that some of the seeds, which had fallen from the grasses had grown.
Soon the idea of sowing seed in an area of land, which had been cleared and cultivated developed. Someone with a bag of seed, walked slowly up and down, scattering seed in a regular way as he walked. The seed fell randomly on whatever the man or woman walked past.

Slowly agriculture developed and started to become mechanised. In 1700 Jethro Tull introduced the  horse hoe and seed drill, the manual sowing of seed broadcasting the seed over a wide area rather randomly depending on the skill of the sower was replaced by plants growing in neat rows, with much less left to chance.

Slowly the majority of people became distanced from all food production with people having very little idea of  where or how food was produced. However the desire to produce food with our own hands which we can see grow and harvest is a very satisfying occupation especially in this time of lock down when there is very little else to do.

As I mentioned earlier there was a very long history of sowing in Palestine and Jesus used the image of the sower a number of times most famously the parable of the sower. 

Again he began to teach beside the sea. And a very large crowd gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat in it on the sea, and the whole crowd was beside the sea on the land. 2 And he was teaching them many things in parables, and in his teaching he said to them: 3 “Listen! A sower went out to sow. 4 And as he sowed, some seed fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured it. 5 Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and immediately it sprang up, since it had no depth of soil. 6 And when the sun rose, it was scorched, and since it had no root, it withered away. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. 8 And other seeds fell into good soil and produced grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold.” 9 And he said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” Mark4:1-9 ESVUK

Jesus explains that the seed represents the word; basically the words of Jesus, now written down in the bible. The seed falls on various soils which represent the state of different people's hearts and how well the word in received.   So this is suggesting that our character and way of life is influential in whether or not we become a Christian, so if salvation is the sovereign will  of God then basically how we respond to the message must be shaped by Him. So not just in the moment of salvation but in a steady influence throughout our lives. However Jesus gives us the privilege of sowing the seed. 

This weekend I have been on our church weekend for our Trinity Lewes men's group, not originally as planned at Bowles.conference centre , but virtually online. Our main speaker talked about sowing seeds how we get to scatter the seed sometimes in  small ways but slowly and after a long time there may well be a harvest. Another image he used was of a game of golf. Each person is a golf club in the hands of Jesus every time we meet somebody as the golf club hits a ball we are bringing the ball nearer to the "hole" of trusting in Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. We are all different as are the golf clubs and each club is used in a different part of the field. No matter what our individual contribution we can all play our small part in the plans of the Saviour if we are prepared to put ourselves totally into His hands.
So happy sowing everybody and may we all reap a bountiful harvest.  

Peter, Jesus and a fish sandwich

Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee.[a] It happened this way: 2 Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus[b]), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. 3 “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

4 Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

5 He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

6 He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

7 Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.  John 21 NIV

This passage reminds me of a men's houseparty years ago at Ashburnham house, when the tradition was to go down to the usually freezing lake before breakfast for a swim across the lake.

The leader had asked me to cook some little fish on a barbeque and make a fish breakfast. The smell of barbequed fish wafted across the lake as the hungry swimmers were surprised by fish in a bread roll as their breakfast treat. We sat together munching our fish as this story was read to us.

The breakfast that Jesus had prepared for Peter and the rest of the disciples must have been even more special than this breakfast which I still remember vividly.

The smell of the cooking fish and the charcoal fire and a smiling risen Lord Jesus offering them breakfast must have been etched on their minds, as was the amazing catch of fish. Many years later, when he was writing his gospel, John remembers that there were 153 of them. He was an eye witness who had personally counted them out.

This event must have been very significant in many ways for the first disciples. They must have recalled their first encounter with Jesus by the lake, where he again ordered them to cast their nets into what had been waters empty of fish, to catch another amazing hoard. This had been their first commissioning, Jesus had invited them to leave their nets, there and then, and become,"fishers of men".  They had seen Him heal people, preach the good news, and even cast out demons, then He sent them out two by two, and they were amazed that even The spirits obeyed them. Then it all started to unravel, Jesus started to draw vast crowds and He came up against the jealous religious authorities. When He rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, drawing the crowds like a glorious messiah, they gradually realised how it was all going to end. They had promised to stick by Him. Peter had vowed to die rather than betray Him, and yet when the soldiers came in the dead of night, they just scattered, like so many frightened dogs, and Peter had even disowned Him just as Jesus had predicted before the cock had crowed three times. Perhaps the smell of the charcoal fire had provoked guilty thoughts in Peter of that night when he had huddled around that charcoal fire in the courtyard of the high priest and, just as the cock crowed, he saw Jesus being led across the other side of the courtyard and exchange that look, not of anger or disgust, but of compassion and love for His friend, despite his betrayal.
Then after the meal came the walk along the beach, and the three fold question: "Do you love me?"
"Of course I love you," was Peter's threefold response.
Each reply negating his threefold denial.
After the question, the commission: "Feed my sheep." Peter, the one who had denied His Lord, had been forgiven and promoted to be the leader of the newly formed worldwide body of Christ, left on earth after Jesus ascended into heaven, empowered and  motivated by the Holy Spirit of God, which was poured out on them at Pentecost. So, just like Peter, each one of us has had their sins forgiven, if we declare our love and commitment to the risen Lord Jesus, to live a life empowered by His indwelling Holy Spirit, and to bring His Kingdom down to our needy world.

          

Christ in a time of lock-down

Jesus Appears to His Disciples

19 On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 20 After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

21 Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” 22 And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”  John 20 NIV

This was our reading set for Easter Tuesday, and it seemed more than usually appropriate in a time of lock-down. The disciples were fearful for their lives, they had all deserted Jesus in His hour of need, all the teaching that Jesus had given them about His resurrection had been forgotten, and their faith had evaporated. However, Jesus' love for them was the same as ever, death could not hold Him, and the most amazing event in history had happened. All the mighty power of the Godhead flowed back into the dead body of Jesus, and He was wonderfully brought back to life. The disciples' fear was turned into joy as they saw their beloved friend alive again. 

  

I wonder what the conversation was in that upper room before Jesus appeared. There would have been fear, anguish, recrimination,regrets, circular arguments of what could have been done, self-guilt and doubt; or perhaps just a gloomy silence as minutes and hours passed. I wonder how that compares with how you are feeling during lock-down.

Everything was changed in that room with the appearance of Jesus. Fear and gloom were dispelled by the return of their friend, and lives were instantly transformed as Jesus breathed back into them the breath of His spirit. 

Slowly, Jesus restored the little band of disciples, with Peter now as their spokesperson after his recommissioning by Jesus, after that miraculous catch of fish by the lake. Finally, when all had been achieved, Jesus ascended into heaven, watched by His friends. However, yet more patience was required, as they again waited in that upper room. Not now in fear but in obedient expectation, awaiting the promised power that was going to fall upon them. Constantly in patient prayer. Then a whole forty days later, during the feast of Pentecost, harvest came with a rushing mighty wind and tongues of fire. The gospel of Jesus broke out of lock-down in a mighty tidal wave of love, healing and evangelism which within a few years engulfed the whole known world, and a flame was lit which will never be extinguished. 

So let us wait patiently in our little rooms and houses, expectant that the risen Jesus will appear to us; let us pray for the Holy Spirit to fill us anew so that once this period of exclusion has finished, we can go out into a new wave of revival that will flow throughout the whole world.

Resurrection joy

Christ is risen

This has been a strange Easter for all of us usually a joyful family time, but now celebrated by many on there own, my prayer goes out to everyone that this Easter will be special in that they have a close encounter with the risen Lord Jesus and celebrate, why not join with me in an Easter song of praise.  

Sing loud songs of exaltation, Christ is risen from the grave.

Gladly bring your adoration, Jesus Christ has power to save.

Satan’s power has been defeated,

Death and hell have lost their sting

Christ’s redeemed rise up together

Joyful alleluias bring.

Now there is no condemnation, Christ has taken all my sin

Gladly on the cross he bore it, fallen humankind to win

Now we have the living Spirit

Giving life to mortal flesh

Filling us with full assurance,

Clothed with Jesu’s righteousness

We are filled with Christ’s own Spirit, clothing us with risen power.

We shall walk the road with Jesus, day by day and hour by hour

We proclaim the gospel message:

“We are saved by Jesus’ love”

Bringing many souls to Jesus,

Linking earth with heaven above.

 Tune: Ode to Joy, Beethoven "Sing to God New Songs of Worship”

1 Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12 and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

13 They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” 14 At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

15 He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

16 Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

17 Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

18 Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.      John 20 NIV

Here is a youtube video with with some cute kids talking about Jesus

Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus, sacrifice courage and kindness.

Hopeful by Howard Zinn

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasise in this complex history will determine our lives.

If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something.

If we remember those times and places — and there are so many — where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvellous victory.

Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus

It was already late on Friday afternoon, and the body had to be taken down from the cross, before the start of Passover. All the fear that had haunted them before about supporting Jesus had gone. They were disgusted at the illegal secret trial held on Thursday night, which they knew nothing about, and so they arrived too late on Friday morning, when Jesus had already been delivered over to Pilate with a cruel howling mob baying for His death. There was nothing that they could have done in that horrible moment when Jesus, already bloody from a beating, was led out to be crucified, but there was still one thing they could do now. That was to stop His body being thrown into some anonymous pit with the other criminals who had been executed. 

Joseph was no youngster, and in fact he had only recently thought about preparing a tomb for his own burial, it had been newly completed, and was there, empty and available to be used, it would be an honour to share his own tomb with such a wise rabbi, or was Jesus more than that? Joseph had thought that He could have been the Messiah long expected but the body hanging on Roman cross looked nothing like an all-conquering king.

Being a member of the council, it was not a problem for Joseph to get an audience with Pilate, who gave the necessary permission after sending a centurion to make  doubly sure that Jesus was really dead.

Getting the body down from the cross was quite a  struggle for two elderly and usually  very dignified men who were not used to physical work. 

Handling a body the night before Passover was going to make them ritually unclean, something any self respecting religious man would never do. However, they were driven by compassion and a strange inner compulsion that this was their destiny: to fulfill that one line in the prophecy of Isaiah:

And they made his grave with the wicked
    and with a rich man in his death,
although he had done no violence,
    and there was no deceit in his mouth.

So, as gently as they could, they bandaged the body, interspersed with the few spices they could find; Mary and the other women would have to come and do the job more thoroughly in the morning, so  as night fell they left with a strange new  confidence that they had not just buried a body, but planted a seed.